The cycle of daughters and mothers

Mothers influence their daughters to become like them when their daughters grow up, but they don't always do it directly. Sometimes they kind of force their daughters to do whatever they think their daughters should do, in other words, they make the decisions for their daughters so that when they are older, they are shaped similar to them.

In the short stories from The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, The mothers in most of the stories treat their daughters in a very similar way. They make their daughters do things that they want them to do and not actually what the daughters want to do.

I think that this is a big part of the Chinese culture, and i also think that it could be part of other cultures around the world but the Chinese are the ones that show it the most.

In the story Rules of The Game, Waverly Jong is the daughter of a mother who tells her what to do, what is according to her what will make Waverly a successful person. Waverly learns by herself that she is good at something; playing chess. She slowly starts to show the people around her the big talent she has. Once her mother sees that her daughter is doing something with her life by herself, she interferes and starts pressuring her daughter to work harder on her chess skills, which just makes it hard for Waverly to be able to do good.

 As her men drew closer to my edge, i felt myself growing light. I rose up into the air and flew out the window. Higher and higher, above the alley, over the tops of tiled roofs, where i was gathered up by the wind and pushed up toward the night sky until everything below me disappeared and i was alone. (pg. 101)

Eventually, her mother caused Waverly to quit chess. Her mother was just trying to help her with her pushing, but Waverly could not take it. This mother was trying to make her daughter be what she wanted her to be and did not let her deal with her dream independently causing her to quit what she was so good at.

One of the main characters, Suyuan Woo who died from a brain aneurysm years after she moved from China and lived in the US. She created the Joy Luck Club, and she got a group of women to join her (They were Chinese too). After her death, the other women that formed part of the Joy Luck Club saw Jing-Mei Woo as the next leader of the group. They kind of expected her to continue what her mother had started.

'You are responsible', said my mother. (pg. 28)

This doesn't show how the women from the club wanted her to replace her m,other, but that does show how the mother, Suyuan, talked to Jing-Mei, telling her that she is responsible. This kind of shows that her mom considers her or could consider her responsible for whatever she leaves behind when she dies, in this case the club.

Mothers influence their daughters in life, they want them to turn out a certain way, but they pick the way they'll turn out and the daughters are dependent on doing things from their mothers.

My story: Once upon a time during The Football War

I remember my aunt told me this story years ago, when I was a little kid. I think I was seven when she told me. So to refresh my mind, I had to call my other aunt in Honduras to tell me more about the story, so she explained it to me and she told me some things  I do not remember my other aunt telling me, but that is probably because I was a kid. But anyways, this is the story:

Years ago, in 1969, Honduras and El Salvador had a war. It was called “The Football War”. The war started because El Salvadorian people were migrating north to Honduras illegally. The population in Honduras was growing and there were way too many people. Those were political conflicts between the two nations. At the beginning of the twentieth century, Salvadorans had begun migrating to Honduras in large numbers. By 1969, more than 300,000 Salvadorans were living in Honduras. These Salvadorans made up twenty percent of the peasant population of Honduras. Many illegal Salvadorians were taking the jobs of Honduran citizens and the government of Honduras did not like that. It is called The Football War because soccer was one of the things that contributed to it. Even though "Football War" implies that the conflict was due to a soccer game, the causes of the war go deeper.

The World Cup was going to happen the following year in Mexico, in 1970. Honduras and El Salvador met in the second North American qualifying round for the 1970 FIFA World Cup. There were three games for the qualification of the 1970 FIFA World Cup played between Honduras and El Salvador in 1969. One game was played in the capital city of Honduras, in Tegucigalpa and Honduras won that game. That game was controversial because after the game, an eight-year old Salvadorian little girl killed herself by shooting herself in the heart. The second game played in the capital city of El Salvador, San Salvador, was won by El Salvador and that created a lot of violence on both sides.  The last and most important game, which was played in Mexico, was also won by El Salvador by one goal with extra time. On the same day, 26 June 1969, El Salvador dissolved all ties with Honduras, stating that "the government of Honduras has not taken any effective measures to punish these crimes which constitute genocide, nor has it given assurances of indemnification or reparations for the damages caused to Salvadorans". This led to border clashes between the two nations.

More issues were territorial issues. El Salvador debated that part of what Hondurans said was their territory was actually Salvadorian territory, which was not true.

In the afternoon of July 14^th, 1969, military action began. El Salvador’s Air Force attacked targets inside Honduras, killing civilians. War was never declared, and El Salvador surprise attacked Honduras. Salvadorian troops entered Honduras, destroying towns and killing civilians. To defend itself, Honduras sent troops to face the Salvadorians and the Honduran Air Force to stop the Salvadorian Air Force.

My grandfather was from El Salvador. He was born there and lived there until he was five years old. At the age of five, he moved to Honduras, to a small town close to the border with El Salvador. I am not sure if my grandfather or “abuelito”, as I called him came to Honduras legally. Well, He lived most of his life in Honduras and I think that the only time he was in El Salvador was when he was a baby and maybe he visited once or twice as an adult but he was technically Honduran. I know that he was a citizen of Honduras because my aunt told me, but I am still not sure about him going legally to Honduras.

In 1969, when the war began, the Honduran government ordered the people of El Salvador to leave Honduran land. If not they would be taken by the Honduran troops and taken to prison.  What my grandfather did was hide.

My aunt says (she was a little kid during the war) that they could not sleep during the war because in the town they lived was really close to El Salvador. Every hour, they would hear planes flying over, dropping bombs close by. The Salvadorians were bombing every town they could. My grandmother, grandfather and my uncles and aunts would hide under their beds, afraid of the bombs, even though that was not the best place for protection, but that was the only thing they could do because they could not escape because there were Salvadorian soldiers everywhere.

A few days after the war began, Honduran troops pushed back the Salvadorian taking control over their towns and most of their territory again. Salvadorians still bombed the towns but not as before. Once the Soldiers from El Salvador were kicked out of the town where my grandfather lived, the Honduran soldiers went around the towns looking for Salvadorian people. My grandpa was in danger. The government had already told the Salvadorians to get out of Honduras.

The Honduran soldiers captured my grandfather, and put him in prison where they tortured him and many other Salvadorians found. They were hung on trees but not killed. They were not given food, and they were constantly hit by soldiers. We do not really know what my grandfather’s experience in prison was because he kept quiet when he came back. He did not say much about his experience. But I am sure it was not a good experience.

After the war ended, he was still in prison for two more months. He was freed after the two months and he was allowed to stay in Honduras since he was a citizen. In Honduras, things changed after the war. Salvadorian people were mistreated. My grandfather was mistreated by other men. He was insulted for being Salvadorian. Years after the war, Hondurans and El Salvador signed a peace treaty and after that, things started to get better for Salvadorians in Honduras.  

I learned that there were conflicts within my roots. This connects to me because when I was younger, I grew up with this mentality of having negative thoughts against Salvadorian people, but when I grew older, I started to understand that we are a family. I did not see that when I was little. I did not even know my grandfather was from El Salvador, and I found out years after of his death. I never got to spend much time with him. I have only one memory of him with me. I was too young to remember more about him. He died when I was three years old.  

I think that this story has survived in my family because that had never happened to anyone in my family before and has not happened to anyone since. My grandfather was also someone really important in my family, he was a role model.  It has been passed from generation to generations because we, in our family need to know what our struggles have been and to remember what happened. What makes this significant is that my grandfather survived, if he hadn’t been lucky, he would have been killed like many other Salvadorians did. And yeah, that is my story.

Mothers and their daughters

The story, "Rules of the game" from the book The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan relates to the article written by Amy Chua: "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior". In Chua's piece, she focuses on telling the audience about what the lives of many Chinese children look like in comparison of those of, for example, western kids (Americans).
In Rules of the game, Waverly is a Chinese girl who has two brothers who are treated similarly to what Chua said kids in China are treated like. Chua focuses a lot on how the parents want their children to be successful in school in specific. In The Rules of the Game, Waverly's mother does not focus on her daughter's education though. One Christmas, Vincent, Waverly's brother  received a chess set from the church. Waverly became addicted to the idea of playing chess and when she learned how to play, she went started going out with people she didn't know and playing chess and as she did that, her sills improved.
One day, her mother realized that her daughter had a real talent; playing chess. So she signed her up for a tournament first and after she won that, she signed her up for more. She started as a local champion and ended up being a national champion. Her mother then became a real proud mother and this idea came to her, to only make her daughter practice chess and to forget about everything else. Her mother kind of forced her to improve, as she wanted her to because she wanted her daughter to keep winning so she could be proud and to kind of show off her daughter to others.

I went to school, then directly home to learn new chess secrets... But i found it difficult to concentrate at home. My mother had a habit of standing over me while i plotted out my games. I think she thought of herself as a protective ally. Her lips would be sealed tight, and after each move i made, a soft 'Hmmmmph' would scape from her mouth. 

Chua talks about a similar idea. The idea of education. Instead of education, Waverly's mother forces her to learn more chess than her studies. Its also like playing the piano and violin only.  This can be seen as one of those instruments.
I do think that Amy Tan's novel endorses Chua's arguments about motherhood.

Independent children

In The joy Luck Club by Amy Tan, she writes an introductory paragrah or paragraphs before each section of her book, which is more than one chapter each. The paragraphs do not necessarily have anything in especific to do with the stories in the section, but there are connections that can be made and there is a purpose to all of that.
I think that the introductory piece's purpose is to give the reader the idea that children like to be independent when they benefit from the independence.
As I read the chapter, Rules of the Game I realized that the girl, Waverly Jong gets to the point in her life where she starts doing something that gives her life progress which makes her be more independent from others.
Waverly Jong discovers that she has a talent; she is an amazing chess player. She became well known and was one of the best. I think that she likes to be independent after her successes.
One way that she becomes independent is by not being a part of the family. She is a part of the family, but it does not seem like she is a part of the family since she is always busy.
When se wants to practice or think about chess in her room, she can't concentrate when her siblings are making noises so she tells them to be quiet. Being good at chess and actually playing outside of home with other, professional I guess I could say, players makes her change. She does not seem like a little girl anymore. She likes to be alone and independent.
One day, Waverly and her mother went out, not because Waverly wanted to but because her mother made her. They kept seeing people and her mother would proudly tell everyone that she was her daughter. Then Waverly said,

"I wish you wouldn't do that, telling everyone I'm your daughter." My mother stopped walking. ..."Aiii-ya. So shame to be with mother?" She grasped my hand even tighter as she glared at me.

This does not necessarily shows "independence", but I think that the fact that she is embarrased of her mother and she does not want to accept it makes me think that she would like to be independent from her mother. I think that almost all kids go through that point in their lives when they don't like their parents being with them. In this case, chess has changed the life of Waverly and now she doesn't like being with the family. She prefers being alone and independent. But when she realizes that she really depends on herself at the end, she does not want to be independent anymore. What happened at the end was that her mother told the family to leave her alone because Waverly didn't care about them. When she knows she is alone, then she wants it all back.

The ever-cahnging story...

In this first story, Suyuan Woo always changes the ending of the stories of the dream because i think she is trying to send her daughters a message.
The message i think she Suyuan Woo is trying to send her daughters is that their lives are not going to be like their dreams. That they have to make their own lives and live them by what is real.
In her dream, everything was happy and peaceful and it was the perfect place for anyone, or at least for her. There were rivers in Kweilin. There were peaks that were white mists, and beds of soft moss and laugh. Nothing could ever go wrong in that place.
The endings of the stories always seem to be bad, as if they are not part of the dream. For example, Suyuan Woo says that since she was so rich, that money was not worth anything after she won it. I am not completely sure if money is one of the things that makes Suyuan Woo happy, but i bet it would be one. If money makes her happy, and now is not worth anything, not even more than toilet paper as she said, then her dream must be collapsing.
I do not think that she herself lived her life as a real situation, she lived it as if it was a dream. Maybe she is trying to tell her daughters to not have the same life that she had. That is what i meant by living life by what is real and not by their dreams.
I guess that is what she tried to do by telling them different stories. And that is what parents do usually. They learn from their mistakes and do not want their children to make the same they made. I think that Suyuan Woo was a different person in her dreams than in real life. This reminds me of inception, because its like there are dreams within a dream which is not exactly what happens here but in a way they are all different dreams that connect.

The best parents

I think that in the article "Why Chinese Mothers Are Superior" by Amy Chua, she makes too many assumptions about Chinese mothers in comparison with western parents. Amy Chua says:

First, I've noticed that Western parents are extremely anxious about their children's self-esteem. They worry about how their children will feel if they fail at something, and they constantly try to reassure their children about how good they are notwithstanding a mediocre performance on a test or at a recital. In other words, Western parents are concerned about their children's psyches. Chinese parents aren't. They assume strength, not fragility, and as a result they behave very differently.

She talks about how Chinese mothers kind of overreact with the actions of their children and western parents do not really mind. I do not completely agrree with that  because i think that not all parents are the same or act the same.
The parent's relationship with their children is strict in the Chinese side. The kid obeys the parents and the kid basically does not have an opinion over what happens, or cannot make important decisions about education or other important stuff. The life of a kid who has a Chinese mother seems much harder than the life of a kid who has a western parent. The Chinese kid has more obligations as described in the article. Kids with Chinese mothers have to really be good in general and seem to have much more pressure than other kids such as American.
American kids on the other hand, who have western parents they are less pressured in almost everything. They do not really have those high expectations that the Chinese kids have. When they get low grades, they are not really pushed by their parents to do better. I know that she is talking about her own family in comparison with the western families, but she kind of make it seem like a comparison of the two general groups.
She makes the point that the two groups are different in the way they teach their children and the relationship they have with their children. I thimk it all depends on culture. There are different views of supporting children in diffeent places and people usually do what they believe is best. If Chinese mothers want to force their children to be successful, i think that is fine, and if a western parent wants their children to try just as hard as they can and not relly support them, then that is fine too.
About the argument about what parents and children owe each other, i think that parents should not really put that much pressure on their children and that the response from the children shlould be respect and efffot.

The Garcia Girls Essay

When I Finished reading the book “How The Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents” by Julia Alvarez, I realized that the story is similar to many of those I have heard from other immigrants. It reminded me of my dad, who always tells us stories about immigrants at the table during dinner time. My dad is an Immigration attorney and he works for the government, and he always tells me and my family about his cases. The one reason I hear my dad always talk about why people come to the United States is for shelter because their country is not safe enough for them. That is what happens in this book.

It initially begins with one of the members of the Garcia family. Carlos is the first person of the family to come to the United Sates trying to escape from danger. The SIM or The Secret Police from the Dominican Republic are looking for him because he had a gun under his possession and he plotted against the Dominican government. He had to come to the United States because he did not feel safe in the Dominican Republic by being wanted by the Dominican Secret Police. He comes to the United States safely and then once immigrants get here, they usually say that their families are not safe back home either so they bring them too.

After Carlos comes, his family follows and that is normally how immigration works. After the family adjusts to the American culture, their lives change, as well as their personalities. The Dominican culture is greatly different from the American culture. In the book, it seems that when the Garcia girls come and get used to living in the United States, they lose their innocence. In the Dominican Republic they were these humble people and innocent, hidden from sins, but when they come, that changes. They lose their innocence in different ways; some of them start thinking of sexual activities as a game and also that they forget about where they come from. One of the most important things an immigrant should always consider is not forgetting the place they come from.

Me for example, as an immigrant coming from a total different place, I know exactly where I come from and what the differences of here and there are. I know what the two cultures are about and I know that I cannot leave either one behind. The two cultures are what shape me now.

This book seems to be written in a way that mostly interests Latin American people or Hispanics. The title captures the readers’ minds and especially for those who speak Spanish. Just by reading the title, “How The Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents”, the reader can say that it might be about Latin Americans because it includes the words, “Garcia” and “Accent”. When I read the title, I instantly knew that it would be about Latin Americans. The title absorbs a great number of Spanish speaking audience.

The actual book is written in a way a Spanish speaking person would understand much more than a person who does not speak Spanish would. The book contains little words or phrases that are written in Spanish and that may confuse a reader that does not understand them.  That can change the meaning of the book for different people. For example, for Spanish Speakers, who might have a deeper understanding of the book, it could mean something and for those that do not speak Spanish might understand a different meaning. This might be a cause why the most part of the number of people that read books like this one are Spanish speakers. Also, the topic of “immigration” is interesting for immigrants and might not be as interesting for others that are not immigrants. 

Another thing that might change the meaning of the book might be the fact that not all the audiences are immigrants. Julia Alvarez might have written this book from an immigrant’s point of view. It is easier for those that are immigrants to understand or to get what the meaning behind this story is, especially for those who immigrated to the United States for the same reason this family did, or for a similar reason; they might feel connected to the story. On the other hand, those readers that are not immigrants try to understand a little more while the immigrants just hear a similar story to theirs.  That is another disadvantage of this book.

The meaning of the book can be determined depending on the reader’s own experience or knowledge about the subject.

Another weakness is that it is not written in the order of the events; it begins with the present and it ends with the beginning. That causes confusion for the readers. The reader gets lost in the beginning of the book, is not until they read the middle part of the book that things start to become more clear. At the beginning, everything is confusing and a lot of questions pop up in the reader’s mind, questions such as, “why are they there?” or “how did they end up being like this?”. Questions that are not answered until the middle and end parts are read.

What if the book had been written in the order of the events, from the beginning to the present? Had that changed the meaning of the book? Maybe Julia Alvarez wanted to write the book the way she did to give it a specific meaning different from the meaning or meanings it would have if it was written in order of events. Everything from this book must have its purpose.

Julia Alvarez wrote this book to share with her Hispanic community and the rest of the world a story that happens to many immigrants from all around the world. She expresses herself in a way that her community can understand better than other readers, and she organizes her book in a confusing way that becomes clear until it is completely read. The book itself has or can have different meanings depending on the reader and that is one of the things Alvarez

Losing your identity.

This second part of the book was much easier to read. The events that happened seemed more clear to me and some of the things that happened hooked me a little more into this book.
A lot if things happen, but I think that one if the most important ones is that The family in the Dominican Republic does does not want the 4 girls to forget where they come from. This happens almost with every immigrant family that comes to the United States to start a new life. The girls's family back in the Dominican Republic and their parents do not want them to become new people and to forget about them. They want them to continue their lives in a different, better and safer place with more opportunities, but they don't want them to change the way they are.
I think that the reason why this happens in a lot of families when they come to this country is that culture is a big thing that cannot be left behind. I know from experience that people back home want the people who are here to succeed but the don't want them to change. They don't want them to change because that could cause a gap in between their relationships.
The number one reason people cone to this country is for better and safer lives. Sometimes, people can't have good lives in their own country. The 4 Dominican girls came here fir a better and safer life. The only thing their family asks in return is to not forget where they come from, who their people are, and who they really are. Culture is a big thing. Traditions and memories are part of culture.
For example, I know and I am always told by my family back home that they don't want me to become a new person. They want me to be the same guy. Even though my it is not something I believe I can do, I always think about it. I don't think most people are able to not change; living here just makes you a different person. Makes you like every one else here. It happens naturally. I do know that some people are able to be the same way they were back in their country. I don't think those are the kind of people the 4 girls are. The girls seem to become more Americanized as they grow older.
Losing someone's culture is losing their real identity. The girls become new people in the United States and the Dominican Republic becomes a forgotten little island isolated from the world.